ppens, it isn't really shit.
If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

7th Day Adventism:
Shit happens on Saturdays.

Hinduism: I've seen this shit before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
This shit happening IS you.

Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Episcopalianism:
If shit happens, hold a procession.

Lutheranism: Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Anglicanism: It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it.
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

Charismatic Catholicism:
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you
anyway.

Judaism: Why does s...
B˘g wys?a? DziewicŠ Orleaäskź do piek?a, žeby je nawr˘ci?a.
Za tydzieä telefon:
- Tu Dziewica Orleaäska, zaczŠ?am pali? papierosy.
- Trudno, wykonuj zadanie.
Minź? kolejny tydzieä. Telefon:
- Tu Dziewica Orleaäska, zaczŠ?am pi? alkohol.
- To juž gorzej, ale nawr˘cisz siŠ. BŠdzie ci to przebaczone.
Po kolejnym tygodniu telefon.
- Tu Orleaäska...